Gluten Free Pilsner
5.0 % ABV Brown Glass Bottle 330 ml.
$3.15 (Canadian) At LCBO
|Lurr, Ruler of the Planet Omicron Persei 8 |
doesn't like this beer either
So I like to try and give a chance to gluten free beers even though I don't like them, and think they are just a marketing stunt trying to wedge open an unnecessary niche. But, this beer... Wow, this beer both confuses and infuriates me; Just like my friend Lurr of the Planet Omicron Persei 8. It starts life as a lager... with gluten, then they do something to it... (no doubt unspeakably horrible) and suddenly it has no gluten left. But actually... it may, as it comes with a WARNING, that this product MAY CONTAIN GLUTEN. To distract you from this fact, the product is certified Fair Trade, and Organic. Now to deepen the confusion this beer has won multiple gold medals at the world beer stage. Which either tells you there is no competition at the world stage for this crap; or these beers really ARE THAT BAD... I'll leave that distinction to you. But if it were me and I was Celiac and it came down to drinking this beer or gluten filled beer; I would take the regular beer every time. My stomach would not like it, but my taste buds would not believe I hated them.
As always, I am not a doctor... I just play one in chat rooms. If you suspect you have Celiac's disease PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, consult an Immunologist who has experience with the disease. Have your family physician recommend one, or go through one of the Celiac Websites:
Remember Celiac's is an autoimmune disease akin to Lupus. It is not a weight loss programme, or a "cleansing diet." The concept of "gluten sensitivity" has been scientifically proven false. Please use with caution.
Onto the "beer" (if we can call it that...)
Pours a brassy gold colour with a flat skiff of a head made up of odd sized bubbles. The nose is wet dog and chemical. light hints of grain and citrus. First sip is flat and watery like soda that has been left open. Light grain, some bread, and touches of citrus. Hints of pepper on the end of the tongue. Overwhelming taste of soda water, touches of minerals. Aeration brings out some green hops.
Impressions: Fail, So-so, Pass, Exceptional
Cost: 5/6 PASS
Colour: 5/6 PASS
Beer Style: 0/6 FAIL
Re-Order: 0/6 FAIL
Experience: 0/6 FAIL
I cannot describe how much I hated this agglomeration of ingredients that made up something resembling an alcoholic beverage. This was pure trash in a bottle designed to separate the gullible from their money. This "beer" makes me long for something with more flavour... like Coor's Light.
I need a shower and to scrub my tongue off. I give this "beer" the un-coveted #DrainAward. Avoid this, like you would your crazy ex, wielding a chainsaw.
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